Today’s the big day! Grocery shopping!!! To most, it’s just running a necessary errand, but to me, it’s equivalent to waking up on Christmas morning and opening predictable gifts from family members that love you. Grocery shopping is an opportunity to stroll down the isles in awe of the beautiful array of vibrantly colored nourishment your cells screams for.
Despite the dwindling of positive energy in the house, I managed to keep my spirits at a steady level and fill the gaps of love that was voided at that time. Temptation continued to lurk around each corner I turned. If it wasn’t the decadent moist yellow cake with creamy lemon frosting, it was the sweet smell of barbecued chicken calling my name. Oh temptation, why must you dwell here? Keeping my stride and staying focused on my goal, I ignore the calls.
Finally, I venture out on my excursion to paradise. Accompanied with my mom and daughter, I explore. Explore the various varieties of apples, the vast array meant of leafy greens, and don’t get me started on the herbs. Yes, I was home. Even though this grocery store was not health friendly due to the small selection of organic fruits and veggies and the many sugary foods and chemically injected meats for freshness that surrounded you at almost every corner, I still felt at ease. I treated my body so bad last year, scratch that, most of my life; eating foods voided of nutrients and consuming foods high in cholesterol, etc. Conventional produce was way better than the alternative. I stocked up on an abundant amount of collard greens, cucumbers, parsley, bananas, dates, quinoa, ginger etc. I was in paradise.
However, I should’ve known this gleeful feeling was going to come to a hault eventually. I received a message from my boyfriend saying that he didn’t want to be with me any longer. It wasn’t a surprise because I was feeling the same way due to the aggravating messages questioning my loyalty. Our relationship was on the rocks and we both knew it. Our 7 long tumultuous years of our relationship was a difficult one. There was a lot of jealously, dishonesty, and betrayal due to the situation of being long distance and lack of funds. We remained together solely out of love for one another, however at this point, we needed more than just love to resolves the issues of this complicated union. My joyful stroll down the isles turned into a bitchy and saddening experience. Pointing the fingers of who did what back and forth never ceased. Maybe it was really time to call it quits. My love for him will never diminish, however this is the perfect opportunity to transfer that love to myself and to expand on that growth. Being in that relationship, I neglected myself completely, but no more. My heart has been scarred and wounded for a long time now, so I was almost pretty much numb to the news in a way.
Guys, even though I’m partaking on this journey of health to clear my eczema, I want to relay that health isn’t only what you eat, it’s the company you keep, it’s the words that you hear, it’s the things that you watch. The subconscious is the most important part to the piece of the puzzle of health. If someone is making you feel worthless, unappreciated, unloved, or isn’t supportive of your dreams then it’s time to cast that person back in the sea. It’s 2019, it’s time that we treat ourselves with love and once we can do that, healing will be inevitable.
