Enthusiasm quickly turned into sorrow when I received, what I assumed to be a pleasant phone call from my better half. Going back and forth in angry text, tuning out the sounds from my surrounding environment, depression seeped in. I didn’t realize the test was going to be so soon. The racing thoughts of “You can have just one cigarette to calm your nerves” flooded into the deepest parts of my mind. However, I mustered everything I had and chose not to give in. Instead I made me some tea and gave all my attention to my little one. Her smile dissolved all negative emotions I was experiencing and she magically replaced it with love.
I basically unintentionally fasted for most of the day, not having much an appetite after that conversation. Definitely wasn’t in the plan to fast, but I’m still reaping amazing benefits from it. Fasting is a great way to give your digestive system a rest and to work on repairing your body.
For my first day, I was definitely proud of myself for fighting temptation in a time of stress. However, I know if I continue on in this situation, I know that failure would be eminent. 2019 for me is a time of self love and just being kind to myself since I was always so hard on myself in the past. Healing my skin and looking my best is important to me, but what’s most important is treating myself with the utmost respect and not allowing anybody, under no circumstance to continue being in my life that is going to treat me other than what I deserve.
Y’all it’s only day 1 ”and I haven’t even had breakfast yet” lol (diving deep infinite waters YouTube). I ain’t havin it though. If anybody is on this journey with me, stay strong! If there’s anybody who is bringing negativity into your life, let it go. I know, easier said than done...believe me! At the end of the day, the love you have for yourself triumphs over how anybody else feels about you. Stay strong! Day 2 here we come ❤️
